Over the past few days we have had some problems with our Ukrainian web developer Konstantin Ilyin. Both James and myself like Konstantin on a personal level, and appreciate the hard work that he has done for us in making http://speedcoin.co.uk fully web 2.0 compatible. However, it was pointed out to us yesterday that some user comments had been truncated unnecessarily due to his poorly designed database schema. As such we have now fired Mr. Ilyin and employed a new developer Lakshmi Malik.
Speed Coin apologises for any inconvenience caused.
Rating: 2.3/5 (8 votes cast)
I have wife and 3 children. The oldest Piotyr is starting school and I need to buy him Nike trainer and Harry Potter rucksack so he doesnt get bullied by Fyodor Petrovna whos father owns the beetroot field in Nadvirna. My wife Zina has affair now because she say I cant support family like real man, and she only has the sex with real man. She tells me I must be good Cuckold and I HATE IT, makes me loose so much face in my village, especially as she make me Cuckold with Ivan Petrovitch who people say is not more than 5 centimeter when hard like the rabbit.
Our contract clearly stated that "payment would be made to you after all works were completed to a satisfactory standard and within the specified time frame of two months and three weeks." Not only was the website handed over to us an entire week late, but when it was finally handed over we found that the comment system you implemented for us was woefully inadequate. You advertised yourself to us as the Ukraine's premier Web 2.0 expert and assured us the very highest standards of spam and profanity filtering would be present on this site. Now look at what has happened: Carl Morris has called us, and I quote; "A bunch of fuck cracker cowboys" and is threatening to not only to pull out of the upcoming solo show we have organised for him, but also to sue us for tarnishing his good name by association (with us).
We have spoken to our solicitors and believe that it is in fact you, and not us, who is wholly in the wrong and as such we shall not be paying you a single penny. However, Speed Coin is not an organisation bereft of social conscience and to thank you for your efforts we have sent you a pair of size 9 (Adult US) Gola trainers, a Garry the Magic Wizard briefcase and a half used bottle of Spanish Fly.
We now consider this matter closed.As Speed Coin's new web developer I feel it is my necessary duty to come to the defense of my excellent and generous new employer. Having worked in Web 2.0 for nearly the past three years, and Web 1.7 for many years before that, I felt great sadness to see how badly you had let down Mr. James and Mr. Brian who in my experience are marvellous people to work for. What you claim is high end 2.0 framework is at best no more than Web 1.47 at my mos generous estimate; where is the object based paradigm interface?? where is the CRUD system database or MVC scaffold??? No, no, no Mr Ilyin, I think that you are not expert in these matters. I do not even want to begin to examine the design you have created for them which looks like it should be found in USSR communist era educational computer game.
I now have very difficult tasks ahead to develop and maintain this website in full 2.0 technology since really it is only 1.47. You make life very bad for me.
Lakshmi :)
P.S. I too am very sorry to hear of your Cuckold situation with Mr. Petrovitch. However, if my husband was as incometant as you then I think I would have no choice but to make him cuckold also. Really you have brought this shame on yourself. If you wish to win her back perhaps you would be interested in my Web 2.0 masterclass course? I can give you 20% discount since I am aware of your hard financial situation.
My wife Zina blame me for all of this problem and she say tonight I must be very good cuckold and watch her make the boom boom bang bang with Ivan Petrovitch in the goat shed. But today of all days this is made total nightmare by you because I take the Spanish fly that you give to me and now I am as hard as life in a Siberian gulag for the rest of the night. So I must sit and watch my wife get violated by little rabbit Petrovitch with the entire pride of Ukraine between my legs. They will think that I love to be the cuckold!!!! I Hate it I hate it, this is all your fault Speed Coin gallery!!!!